Friday, April 30, 2010

5259w

5259w is a coded message from the internet gods.
it refers to your destiny, more specifically the location where these degrees of latitude and longitude intersect.

google maps says it's precisely here:

the good people at astro.com have this to say about the potential of this rather barren place (and my commentary appears in red brackets):

The effect of this zone is electrifying and explosive. (really?)

The powerful drive towards freedom and independence dictates your action and your interpersonal relations. (you will not have to drive too powerfully though, since you are in the wild wild wilderness where there are no people with whom to have interpersonal relations)

You react impatiently to any kind of limitation and utter your opinions without hesitation. (if a tree falls in the forest...if you utter impatiently to yourself in a forest...)

Here, you need to ensure freedom of movement and engage in physical activities, as this excess energy could release itself in angry outbursts. (so don't lock yourself up in your tent)

These energies could find adequate expression in sport, fitness training and physical work, but even if you see yourself as a daredevil, it is advisable to avoid risky activities or play. (wolf brawls aren't risky if they're necessary)

The problems regarding the crossing of these particular energies are not just in their uncontrollable nature, but also due to a lack of patience, willingness to compromise and endurance. (sorry but there is no email out here)

Longer stays can lead to conflicts with authority figures, marriage complications and difficulties adapting professionally or socially. (but only in your head because you are alone)

However, if you are keen to free yourself from dependencies and repression, you will surely find the necessary support to do so. (in bed)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Tranglik


Tranglik:
When a face appears in your food. The face 'glik' ( spirit) transcends time and space and materializes itself in your food. A tranglik is a face that has successfully arranged itself from another dimension trying to make 'contact' . Currently we do not know how to address trangliks, it is safe to eat them, though it is considered respectful to greet the tranglik before ingesting them.

fingwis






Fingwis: an arrangement of objects that guide/ direct someone to take their vitamins. Usually a fingwis is made with objects at hand (objets trouvĂ©). Fingwis's are  site specific, un-monumental, interactive and temporal. Fingwis's employ contemporary art installation strategies and  health forward philosophies to promote taking your vitamins. 

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

parly



definition: when you are the only anglo at an all franco party and attempt to make small-talk

Saturday, April 24, 2010

prower



ok, here's the scene: downtown montreal, end of april, springlike weather, friday 4:30pm. the doors of the old port swing open and a flood of youngish people wearing structured outfits in varying shades of charcoal pour out and get the first ray of sun on their eyeballs in months. this makes them feel good. so good that their eyeballs immediately seek other eyeballs to slither over. soon it's eyeball-on-eyeball, all cinq-a-sept long.

they are in powersuits. they are on the prowl. they are filled with the ultimate prower.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

vowne



vowne: 'vow' and 'never'

when you do something kind of foolish or reckless and then, in your mind, vow never to do such a thing again, but then you catch yourself already in the process of repeating the same mistake before you even finish the sentence

Monday, April 19, 2010

pation




definition: passion down pat

Sunday, April 18, 2010

terictl



terictl:
Special circle shaped mold that grows on unidentifiable food found in the back of boyfriends refrigerator. Terictls are usually about 2 years old and have at least 3 distinct colors. After prolonged examination terictls will become quite fascinating and beautiful. This intense experience of aesthetic appreciation may be due to the mold spores eating your brain.
or maybe you just love your boyfriend - so even his terictls in the fridge are beautiful.
or maybe it's just mold eating your brain.
xo
(it's love just in case you are reading this jb)

so ....this is a new terictl specimen discovered in boyfriend's fridge in june.
p.s. boyfriend is now fiancée. woohoo +


suffying




suffying: a diminutive kind of suffering

as experienced, for example, during the winter season when it's so cold that your loofah freezes to the bathroom tiles and you have to chisel it off before using it. the momentary sensation of scrubbing yourself with ice would qualify as suffying.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

panticon



panticon: portmanteau of "panty" and "panopticon"

a panticon is this:

when you go to the bay after a long day at work to buy a new bra or something but your bloodsugar is pretty low and you feel fairly disoriented and sweaty especially among the endless circular displays of seemingly identical lingerie (none of which suits your needs) and all the other shoppers are walking around you in a clockwise fashion adding to your dizziness and confusion to the point where you can't tell if you're watching the panties or the panties are watching you and the only way to disrupt this "sentiment of an invisible omniscience" is through an unsuccessful attempt at shoplifting just to find out who's really in charge.

miesses



this is from the same word family as 'preesses'
its half mrs. and half messes.
and you're drunk, and the dishes aren't done. again.
ohhh miesses !

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

sometimes margo


my brother's dog, margot.
sometimes margo.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

pretold



pretold: a word designed to win the following argument:

a. what happened to your eye?
b. nothing
a. it's gone. there's just a hole where your eye used to be and i can see the park behind you through it.
b. no you can't.
a. yes, i see a dog peeing on a tree through your eyehole, through the kitchen window and the kitchen is on fire.
b. you always look right through me.
a. don't change the subject. my shoes are aflame. you launched the flight devil in the apartment, didn't you?
b. no.
a. i told you not to.
b. and i didn't.
a. don't lie. don't deny.
b. i'm not.
a. you are. the flames are lapping at my kneecaps now.
b. don't be silly. they're not.
a. yes, they are. don't you smell that?
b. (silence)
a. look at me look at me when i'm talking to you.
b. i am.
a. no you're not. all i see is bark and leaf and jack russell and a periodic frisbee.
b. that's my iris.
a. stop your lying. the flight devil was for US to launch TOGETHER. outside. you should not have done this.
b. (something inaudible)
a. WHAT? CAN'T HEAR YOU ABOVE THE FIRE-ALARM.
b. I SAID: I DIDN'T LAUNCH THE FLIGHT DEVIL.
a. YES YOU DID. EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU NOT TO. I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU.
b. YES BUT I PRETOLD YOU THAT I WOULD SET IT OFF ALONE IN THE KITCHEN, BURN THE PLACE DOWN, CREATE THE CONDITION OF MAKING A FRISBEE VISIBLE THROUGH THE SPACE WHERE MY EYE USED TO BE AND THEN LIE AND DENY EVERYTHING IN A PREDICTABLE ARGUMENT WITH YOU. REMEMBER? REMEMBER NOW?
I PRETOLD YOU.


(end)

Monday, April 12, 2010

lants


1. long pants
2. long pants for ants
3. to pierce something with a sharp and pointy ant

Sunday, April 11, 2010

cycyc



your ability to predict the destiny of this bike based on the formation of rust on its frame, the unreliability of its brakes, the muteness of its bell as well the tracks left by its tires in combination with the auditory assault it performs on pedestrians as you muscle it down the street while repeating sheepishly (in your head), "just one more year of lawschool, one more year of lawschool, one more year of lawschool..."

Saturday, April 10, 2010

his icings




origin: 'frosted tips'
refers to a man's hairstyle

"how are his icings?" is another way to ask, "what of his hair? do you fancy its quality?"


'his homeric', by contrast, refers to a man's ability to recite epic poetry

Friday, April 9, 2010

splogi



splogi is what happens after you eat a toronto veggie street hotdog with olive, bacon bits, mayo, bbq sauce, relish , mustard and ketchup.  ' i totally splogi-ed  after eating that' 

lawsuits clearly



this pile of 100's of  stench rot hockey gear bits drying in the sun is a case for lawsuits clearly. criminal olfactory trauma.  

backshwa



the more appropriate spelling variant of 'backwash'

Thursday, April 8, 2010

founds totato.


'founds totato' is a situation.

it's when you accidentally overhear two fully grown individuals using babytalk in the produce section of a grocery store - only, get this: they don't have a baby.

one of em's like: look bunny, i founds totato.
and the other one's like: goo goo ga ga coooo coooooooooooo
and then one of them pats the other one on the diaper. it makes a squishy sound.

and you're there with your hand wrist-deep in lebanese cucumbers.
watching it all go down.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

worymal


worymal: to fret over mundane things

Monday, April 5, 2010

schoes

(adjective)

Berlin chic.