Fulton shettion

Fulton shettion : -noun
1. a likeness/ portrait of a coffee as a painting, drawing or photograph.

" that is a captivating series of Fulton shettion photographs, they really express an acute sense of isolation while addressing notions the everyday and post-structuralist feminism. The palette is trés upstate NY , laden with ennui. Sad coffee, lonely coffee, it's so now."

shwingi

Shwingi : any kind of object that you attach to your pants around your bum area to attract attention to your bum area. The snap-klip ( 70's ? ) was made for attaching Shwingi. Please note the snap-klip is fashionable, durable and rust-free.
When someone succeeds in attracting attention to their bum area someone might say "Shwing". [ Shaawing !].

isierat

isierat :
1) Is a question - it is a shortened form of " is he a rat? " [ iz-ee-a ratt? ] It is typically asked by suburb dwellers who haven't had coffee yet and who have never seen a rat. Suburb dwellers often mistake lost pet rabbits, puppies, teacup chihuahua's, squirrels and hairless cats for rats.
2) Is a statement - shortened form of " he is a rat" [eeeeez-ah-ratt !]. This form is used by someone who is very drunk on 'apple pie martinis' to refer to their boyfriend who has been caught cheating.
now more pictures of my cute squirrel :How to make an apple pie martini:
1 and a 1/2 parts vanilla liqueur
1 part Vodka
2 parts apple cider
1 tsp of cinnamon
squeeze of lime
Pour ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice, shake well, strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

noses.

noses. noses is an ancient noseless gang founded by these guys. they are no longer accepting new members. the only way you could have joined is if you also didn't have a nose. also strictly prohibited was the use of any homonym of "nose", ie. "knows". noses was probably more of a club than a gang - a club whose favorite activities included heavy talk of how things presumably smell.

cryme

a cryme is a musical indiscretion committed by those who may or not play dungeons and didgeridoos. flailing somewhere in the musical waves that separate the powerballads from the boybands, a cryme ALWAYS begins with your back to the audience. every live performance of a cryme aspires to bring you to tears with an impassioned display of rule-breakiness and repeated chest poundings. rife with risque euphemisms about masturbation, cryme lyrics always include the words "cry" and "crime":

sample 1
CRY to crime
CRY to crime
CRY to crime
Won't you cry to crime ? (x2)

sample 2
It's not a crime for a man to cry, cry, cry
Sample the flavor of long-withheld tears
Just as falling rain is a kind of beauty
It's better to hold this opportunity well, and cry once
[It's not a crime]

sample 3
I will cry tonight, I will cry tonight, and my hands we cannot stop this crime.
I will cry tonight, I will cry tonight, and my sword has lost the eternal fight.


see also:
cryminal, crymage, crymudgeon

immen

immen.

when something is so manly it encompasses all manhood, manliness - it is so whole that it is holy. there is only one word to express the awe inspired by such manly mannesss.

'immen' .

it's like on Oprah when they sing ' i'm every woman' - this is the man version - ' i'm men'

this psychic fisherman in a box at the duty free crossing en route to NY inspires one to say 'immen - immen to that brother' .

throil

throil:

a turbulent food state. you know- when the food is so unstable it is still moving on your plate? food in throil looks as if it is in the throws of passion (with itself) , in the eye of a hurricane or still boiling.

this is a black forest cake in a state of throil.

flast

flast = flask blast.

a state achieved exclusively by drinking moonshine from a handmade ceramic flask embellished with a boombox, courtesy of tim ayers. if you're sicker than this dog, chances are pretty good that you have had a flast.

grave fritters

a grave fritter is an unidentifiable bit of deep-fried food that lives in your couch. it took up residence months ago when it fell into the abyss between cushions while you were distracted by reality tv. you exhume it accidentally while searching for the remote. it is probably still pretty tasty and maybe even worth something.

turzo

Turzo : Turzo is a form of graffiti, from Italy. The Turzo-er (Turzo artist) applies graffiti onto existing, typically historic, monumental sculpture in such a way that it responds, highlights or addresses the form or meaning of the existing sculpture. This is different from regular graffiti which is just image/ text applied onto a wall. Turzo is typically humorous, political and unfortunately illegal. Some people think the word comes from combining Turf and Zone, but they are wrong.

parrots, bears and parrot-bears

the barrot is a crossing of the common bear and the common parrot. mostly parrot with subtle bear characteristics, the barrot is easily recognized by its distinctly baritone mating call. a favored dinner meat among any chef worth his/her salt, the barrot displays a bouquet of voluptuous chocolate and tobacco, softly spiced with lots of tropical fruit. exceptionally showy on the palate, unsubtle low notes and a bit of wet rainbow dog on a leathery finish.

the pear, by contrast, in not an animal but a fruit with a texture similar to either this:
or this:

i know what you were thinking though, earlier, when you learned about barrots. following the phonetic logic, you were thinking that a pear would be the unique marriage of bear and parrot. but that genetically spliced wunderkind is properly known as psittaciformes ursus and it's still in lab.

visitswar

visitswar: this is a do-it-yourself mousetrap situation. the mouse crosses the 2x4 bridge to get to the peanut butter smeared  on the coke can. once the mouse is on the coke can, the can rotates on the bent hanger causing little mouse to loose its balance and fall into the huge  pail of antifreeze.  this is effective, cheap and apparently the mouse becomes sort of preserved in the antifreeze so it doesn't smell bad after it dies. this awful contraption ( though i  must say very clever)  is what mice would call a ' visitswar' .  

p.s. uncaught does not support the war on mice or the use of 'visitswars'

lodong

Lodong: see photo.

Example: ' hey hon, let 's go fishing- can you make sure the lodong, rods and bait are in the tackle?- thanks' 

later

this is an example of a fine place to retire.  a fine place to retire is called a ' later' . this fabulous ' later' can be found near cobourg ontario.  i get first dibs. 

trubl

this little guy is so much trouble with his hooks and cute looks, that you don't have time to spell 'trouble' so he is just called trubl. don't let him catch yah. i mean captcha ( get it ? ) 

on useless

this comes up every time you try to terminate your facebook account.
useless is ON.

trying to cancel facebook is like trying to cancel your legs. it's complicated and requires effort, know-how and tools. merely clicking the 'submit' button is like clicking your eyelids shut at the end of the day. guess what: tomorrow you will still have facebook, feet, ankles, knees and thighs. some things are not so easy to sever. social networking is one of them.

oh facebook, i wish i knew how to quit you.

supedipt

supedipt: an email excerpt describing the following situation:

"the other day i caught him sucking on his own rear foot and i was
like what the fuck?!?! what now? what does this mean? what's wrong
with him? but he had this sort of guilty/sneaky look on his face like
it was more than just a little scratch on a toe or something. so then
i watched him out of the corner of my eye and he watched me out of the
corner of his eye only he got distracted and my eye-corners are bigger
and so i caught him STICKING HIS REAR FOOT INTO HIS EAR AND THEN SUCKING HIS OWN EARWAX OFF HIS PAW LIKE IT WAS A BLUEBERRY FREEZIE AND HE WAS SOME IMMIGRANT SCHOOLGIRL INTRODUCED TO CANDY AT WEST EDMONTON MALL FOR THE FIRST TIME OR SOMETHING. it was siiiiiiiick.
and he knew it was wrong too."

hotel coconuts

hello, and welcome to hotel coconuts!
may we offer you something to eat/drink?

you will notice that your room is filled with coconuts.
we paid for them with your hard earned coconuts.

we hope you will have a pleasant stay.
(wake up calls involve smashing together two ripe coconuts)

frailer middle

soft centre
frailer middle
hard shell

applies to: chocolates, turtles, lovers and Mars or any combination thereof

5259w

5259w is a coded message from the internet gods.
it refers to your destiny, more specifically the location where these degrees of latitude and longitude intersect.

google maps says it's precisely here:

the good people at astro.com have this to say about the potential of this rather barren place (and my commentary appears in red brackets):

The effect of this zone is electrifying and explosive. (really?)

The powerful drive towards freedom and independence dictates your action and your interpersonal relations. (you will not have to drive too powerfully though, since you are in the wild wild wilderness where there are no people with whom to have interpersonal relations)

You react impatiently to any kind of limitation and utter your opinions without hesitation. (if a tree falls in the forest...if you utter impatiently to yourself in a forest...)

Here, you need to ensure freedom of movement and engage in physical activities, as this excess energy could release itself in angry outbursts. (so don't lock yourself up in your tent)

These energies could find adequate expression in sport, fitness training and physical work, but even if you see yourself as a daredevil, it is advisable to avoid risky activities or play. (wolf brawls aren't risky if they're necessary)

The problems regarding the crossing of these particular energies are not just in their uncontrollable nature, but also due to a lack of patience, willingness to compromise and endurance. (sorry but there is no email out here)

Longer stays can lead to conflicts with authority figures, marriage complications and difficulties adapting professionally or socially. (but only in your head because you are alone)

However, if you are keen to free yourself from dependencies and repression, you will surely find the necessary support to do so. (in bed)