Sunday, June 27, 2010

parrots, bears and parrot-bears

the barrot is a crossing of the common bear and the common parrot. mostly parrot with subtle bear characteristics, the barrot is easily recognized by its distinctly baritone mating call. a favored dinner meat among any chef worth his/her salt, the barrot displays a bouquet of voluptuous chocolate and tobacco, softly spiced with lots of tropical fruit. exceptionally showy on the palate, unsubtle low notes and a bit of wet rainbow dog on a leathery finish.

the pear, by contrast, in not an animal but a fruit with a texture similar to either this:
or this:

i know what you were thinking though, earlier, when you learned about barrots. following the phonetic logic, you were thinking that a pear would be the unique marriage of bear and parrot. but that genetically spliced wunderkind is properly known as psittaciformes ursus and it's still in lab.


  1. i think this bear parrot character with the cheese cracker schtick has some real potential . i think it would be a real hit as a costume that you wear. i will give you $100 if this can happen. then i will get you on david letterman. but first i will kidnap you to sackville newbrunswick because i miss you and i am kinda creeped out in this big empty farm house all alone at night. if you come here- bear parrot can't, because that would be even more creepy actually. actually i am so tired because i am too scared to fall asleep. hmm maybe i will go comment on your other blogs too.
    so yeah that bear parrot thing is $$$$

  2. the barrot is your spirit guide.
    miss you.